:::stephen '06::: ^.^

5 Important Lessons in Life

2006-09-05T20:37:00.000+08:00

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall,dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade."Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers,you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

-+my.ribena+-

JOKE

2006-08-24T23:46:00.001+08:00

joke joke joke

it was this joke: how did the dwarf die?
-He was shoRt!!!!

where do u find the most soldiers?
-In a cornfield!! Kernals!! ;)

why is chinese food so fun?
-Its Hor FUN!!!

what did the spider say to the bat?
-NOTHING!!

why would i be laughing at you?
-Because i got u to actually read this!!!!!!!!!!

btw, only 2 of these jokes r mine. hahaha

HEEEEEEEE

LOLS ;) JOKES JOKES hahaha.

:) 4.11 ROX!!!

JOKE

2006-08-24T23:46:00.000+08:00

btw, none of these jokes r mine. hahaha

HEEEEEEEE

LOLS ;) JOKES JOKES hahaha.

:) 4.11 ROX!!!

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 7 of 7

2006-08-21T16:35:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: I disclaim this story; that is to say, it is not my own. I heard it somewhere.

[The remainder of this text will be in black print, so as not to spoil the ending.]

Billy was elated. He would finally get to see the wizard! His prior melancholy forgotten, Billy jumped into action.

He dashed across the grass...

ran through the south gate of the park...

darted across the street...

and was knocked over by a car.

Billy died in hospital an hour later.

The moral of the story is:

Always look both ways before you cross the street.

THE END

-The Editor

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 6 of 7

2006-08-19T13:47:00.000+08:00

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 6 0f 7

Disclaimer: For the second-last time, it's not my story. Honestly. Hmph.

Dawn arrived bright and early, as it usually does. A swallow fluffed its feathers and cawed a greeting to the red-tinted sunrise, before gliding away on a cool morning breeze. All was peaceful and quiet in Candlestick Park.

Billy opened his eyes blearily. He looked around. He sat up. "Wha...?" he said. His hands patted confusedly at the rough woodwork of the bench beneath him.

"Bed?" he murmured. He patted the bench again. "No... not bed. Uhmm..."

Billy scratched his head sleepily. "Room?" he muttered, looking from side to side. "No room? Uhhh..."

Billy's hands reached out. "Bobby the bear?" he said. His fingers curled around the soft plushie toy. He sighed in relief. "Bobby the bear..." he repeated, smiling contentedly.

It took a moment for Billy's brain to kick into gear. He jolted upright. My drawing... the teacher... passionfruit... the principal... passionfruit... mum... dad... passionfruit... the tramp... the wizard... the tree...

The wizard! Of course!

Billy jumped into action. He dashed across the grass, ran through the south gate of the park, stopped, looked left and right, crossed the street, climbed up the hill and pressed the knob on the trunk of the biggest tree.

Exactly three seconds elapsed. Suddenly, a deafening chime, akin to the roar of ten thousand angry lions, reverberated through Billy's skull. The trunk of the biggest tree split open with a resounding crack to reveal a jagged, ten-foot-tall archway. Looming in the archway was a snarling white-furred monster of enormous proportions.

The hairs on the back of Billy's neck stood on end.

The monster growled. Its thin purple lips spread slowly in a toothy grin, exposing cruel fangs. A pair of yellow-tinted eyes, dark as poison, glowed eerily in Billy's direction. It stomped heavily forward on large, clawed feet.

Then it raised a hairy paw to brush a speck of dust off its tuxedo.

"Hello," said the monster pleasantly. "My name is Albert. How may I be of service?"

Billy remained rooted in place. His eyes had glazed over.

"Um, hello?" said the monster, waving a paw in front of Billy's face. "Anyone there?"

Billy didn't move.

"Oh, dear," said the monster, sighing audibly. "I truly fail to understand why I am forced to do this every time." He produced a large bucket of water and sloshed it over Billy.

Billy sputtered. "H-h-h-hi Mr. A-A-Albert," he said, shivering.

Albert beamed in delight. "Why hello there, young one," he said cheerfully. He spread his massive arms wide in a gesture of hospitality. "Welcome back to the land of the living. What may I do for you?"

Billy took a deep breath to calm himself down. Any monster in a tuxedo, he reasoned, is likely to be less than dangerous. He stopped short as a thought struck him. Or completely insane.

Billy took another deep breath. That didn't really help, he thought. But he steeled himself nonetheless. "Is there a wizard here, Mr. Albert?" he asked tentatively.

"Oh, I'm afraid not, Mr.-" Albert paused. "... May I have your name, young master?"

"Um, it's Billy," said Billy, crestfallen. The tramp had lied to him.

"Terribly sorry, Billy," said Albert. "The wizard is away on business at the moment. It is my sad duty as his butler to inform all appointment-seekers to come back tomorrow." He patted Billy's shoulder apologetically.

Billy's eyes lit up in joy. "So there is a wizard!" he said ecstatically.

Albert looked affronted. "Well, of course there is!" he said. "I would be plum out of a job otherwise, wouldn't I?" He crossed his arms and grumbled to himself. "Foolish kids... always think they know everything. It's all the same. All the same. Hmph."

Billy jumped up and down to regain Albert's attention. "Hey!" he yelled, waving his arms at the butler. "Hello?"

Albert looked up irritably. "Come back tomorrow," he snapped. The archway slammed shut.

Billy took a moment to digest this. "Alright," he chirped happily, to no-one in particular. He climbed down the hill, stopped, looked left and right, crossed the street, ran through the south gate of the park, dashed across the grass and returned to his wooden bench.

He spent the night in the park.

The next morning, Billy was up bright and early. Today he would see the wizard! Today he would get his answers!

Billy jumped into action. He dashed across the grass, ran through the south gate of the park, stopped, looked left and right, crossed the street, climbed up the hill and pressed the knob on the trunk of the biggest tree.

Three seconds elapsed. A deafening chime resounded, and the archway split open. Standing in the archway was a refreshed-looking Albert.

"Ah, hello, Billy," said Albert, smiling affably. "I was wondering when you'd drop by."

Billy was bouncing up and down in anxiousness. "Can I see the wizard now?" he begged. "Please?"

Albert's face fell. "I'm afraid I must deliver more bad news," he said regretfully. "You've just missed him. He's gone on another business trip and won't be back for another week." Albert patted Billy's head comfortingly. "Awfully sorry," he said.

The archway slammed shut.

Billy was crushed. "Okay," he murmured, "I'll come back in a week." He trudged down the hill, stopped, looked left and right, crossed the street, plodded in through the south gate of the park, and made his way across the grass to his wooden bench.

He spent another week in the park.

One week later, Billy was up bright and early. Today, at last, he would understand why everyone was so mad at him for saying passionfruit! Today he would solve the mystery!

Billy jumped into action. He dashed across the grass, ran through the south gate of the park, stopped, looked left and right, crossed the street, climbed up the hill and pressed the knob on the trunk of the biggest tree.

Three seconds elapsed. A deafening chime resounded, and the archway split open. Standing in the archway was a well-groomed Albert.

Albert gazed apologetically at Billy. "Billy," he began, "I'm afraid the wizard has left again, on yet another business trip. Popular man, you know, lots of clients and such." He patted Billy's head sympathetically.

Billy's lower lip quivered. His body shook. He burst into tears. "Not again!" he wailed. He hiccoughed pitifully.

"I am truly sorry, my lad," said Albert, grimacing. "The wizard will be returning in a month. Perhaps you could try coming back then."

The archway slammed shut.

Billy turned miserably away from the trunk of the biggest tree. He trudged down the hill, stopped, looked left and right, crossed the street, plodded in through the south gate of the park, and made his way across the grass to his wooden bench.

Sitting on the bench was the tramp.

"Ah, Billy!" the tramp said brightly. "Fancy meeting you here!"

Billy mumbled a despondent greeting in return.

"What? No cheery hello for an old friend?" prompted the tramp.

Billy sat down dejectedly on the opposite side of the bench.

"Hm, suppose not," said the tramp, a trifle disappointed. "So much for testing your perseverance."

Billy snapped out of his stupor. "What did you just say?" he demanded.

"My lad," said the tramp seriously, his black eyes glittering. "You didn't really think, did you, that a famous wizard lets just about anyone consult him?"

Billy shook his head confusedly.

"But you have passed my test," said the tramp with a wink. "Well done, if I do say so myself."

Billy nodded jerkily in thanks. His eyes widened in dawning comprehension.

The tramp reached under his tattered gray rags with a gnarled hand and pulled out a long wooden staff. In a flash he was clothed in elegant robes of wizardly purple. He winked again.

"Come on up, Billy," he said warmly. "We have much to discuss. Albert is preparing tea." And with a swirl of dazzling stars the wizard vanished from Candlestick Park.

To be continued...

Billy and the Passionfruit, part 5 of 7

2006-08-18T12:05:00.000+08:00

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 5 of 7

Disclaimer: This story is not my own. I wash my hands of it.

Billy dragged his feet miserably along the pavement. Shadows surrounded him. A bat flitted silently overhead, quietly camouflaged against the dark night sky.

Billy walked past the grocery store, the post office, the public library, and the toy shop. Every door was shut, with hard golden doorknobs glistening in the wet drizzle that had just begun to fall.

Billy didn't know where he was going. He sighed and cast his gaze around, squinting through the rain until his eyes came to rest on a high, gaping archway on the opposite side of the street. Small droplets of water crawled down the black lettering lining the curve of the arch. "Can-del-stick Park," Billy read. He steeled himself and trudged resolvedly across the street.

Billy's feet padded across the rough grass in the park. He spotted a rickety wooden bench and wandered over towards it. A dirty pile of rags decorated one side of the bench. Billy set his backpack down on the other side.

The pile of rags shifted.

Billy screeched and jumped backwards.

The pile of rags sprouted a pair of gnarled, waving hands. The palms were facing outwards appeasingly. "Nonono," came a muffled voice from within the heap. "Don't run away." A head popped into view.

The head was dark and wrinkled, like a prune, with a few stray white hairs sitting on top. A large, bulbous nose sat jauntily on one side of the face. The mouth was grinning madly, cracking apart its dry, chapped lips and exposing a set of crooked yellow teeth. A pair of jet-black eyes glittered in Billy's direction.

The pile of rags stood up. It was a tramp.

"Don't get many visitors at this time of the night, usually," muttered the tramp to himself. "In fact," he said, eyeing Billy, "I daresay you're the first! What brings you here, my lad?"

Billy didn't know whether to feel terrified or relieved. The emotional stress became too much to bear. He broke down crying.

"Oh, nonono," rasped the tramp frantically. He patted Billy's head in an awkward fashion. "Don't cry, now, don't cry," he said.

Billy wailed. "Everyone h-h-hates me!" he cried.

"Oh, dear," said the tramp. He chewed worriedly on a long fingernail. "That can't be true, my lad. Whatever would make you say something like that?"

"It's t-t-true!" sobbed Billy. "First I g-got exp-p-pelled, and th-then I g-got d-d-disowned!"

"Oh, I say!" said the tramp, scandalized.

"And I s-s-still d-don't know wh-what I d-d-did w-wrong!" cried Billy.

The tramp scratched thoughtfully at his head. Suddenly, he snapped his fingers. "Tell you what, son," he said, eyes squinting appraisingly at Billy. "I know of a certain someone who can answer all your questions. Why don't you go ask him for advice? I reckon he'll be able to help you out!"

Billy stopped crying. "Really?" he said excitedly.

"Oh, yes," said the tramp, bobbing his head. "He happens to be" - his voice lowered to a secretive whisper - "a wizard. Quite famous, if I do say so myself." He winked at Billy.

"Wow! Cool!" said Billy. "I'll see him first thing tomorrow!"

"Good show, good show, my lad!" chuckled the tramp. "See that gate over there?" He pointed to a gate at the other end of the park. Billy nodded. "That's the south gate of the park," the tramp continued. "All you have to do is go through that gate, cross the street, climb up the hill and press the knob on the trunk of the biggest tree. That's where the wizard lives, that is," said the tramp, nodding wisely. "He'll answer your questions."

"Awesome!" said Billy. "Thanks, Mr. Tramp!"

"No problem," winked the tramp, as he limped slowly away. "Cheerio, my lad!"

"Bye!" yelled Billy, waving vigorously. He smiled happily to himself and settled onto the bench, falling quickly into a contented, dreamless sleep.

To be continued...

-The Editor

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 4 of 7

2006-08-16T18:51:00.000+08:00

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 4 of 7

Disclaimer: Same again. Not mine.

Billy was stunned. His lips trembled. His eyes began to water.

"Wh-wh-what's wrong w-with s-saying p-p-passionfruit?" he sobbed. A sparrow flying above him choked in shock and fell to its death in a water fountain.

Billy wailed pitifully. He ran down the pavement all the way home and burst through the door and dashed into the kitchen and buried his wet face in his mother's apron.

Billy's mother was worried, since the school day wasn't over. She wondered what Billy was doing at home. "Billy," she said placatingly, "What are you doing at home?"

Billy sniffled. "I g-g-got expelled!" he cried. His mother gasped.

"Expelled!" she said, thunderstruck. "Why, this is outrageous! How could you have been expelled?"

"I d-d-dunno," cried Billy. "I w-was j-just explaining t-t-to the p-principal that the t-teacher w-w-wanted us to d-draw a p-p-passionfruit and th-then h-mmmmrrrrrffffffff!" Billy grabbed at the hand that was clapped to his mouth.

Billy's mother looked livid. She cast her eyes around furtively. "What did you just say?" she hissed.

Billy was petrified. "P-p-passionfruit?" he said tentatively.

"Passionfruit?" Billy's mother spluttered. "PASSIONFRUIT? HOW DARE YOU SAY PASSIONFRUIT? Up to your room at once, young man! Wait until your father hears about this!" She shooed him angrily from the kitchen, slammed the door at took a deep breath to calm herself down.

Billy trudged sadly up the stairs and into his room. He started to cry again. "I d-d-don't understand!" he sniffled. He hugged his bruised plushie toy.

A tribe of passionfruits appeared out of nowhere in front of Billy and sprouted evil grins. They built a fire and began dancing around it, chanting and murmuring in low voices. The passionfruit with a white-feathered headdress brought out a dead sparrow and placed it on the fire, saying a fervent prayer to the passionfruit gods. The smell of burning flesh filled the air...

Billy was awoken from his stupor by the sound of the doggy-flap in his door being pushed open, admitting his cold dinner. He ate slowly and miserably.

BANG! Billy leapt backwards onto his bed as his door was blasted clean off its hinges. The dust settled to reveal a monstrous, muscular form.

Billy's father stalked into the room. He slammed his thick arms onto the posts of Billy's bed. His voluminous mustache quivered. A large purple vein pulsed on his forehead.

"PASSIONFRUIT?" he roared. "PASSIONFRUIT? HOW DARE YOU SAY PASSIONFRUIT!"

Billy's father stepped backwards, closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself down. He licked his lips. Then his eyes snapped back open to reveal angry dark pupils.

Billy whimpered. "I'm sor-"

"SHUT UP!" Billy's father bellowed. "NO EXCUSES, YOU LITTLE INGRATE! I feed you, I clothe you, and THIS IS HOW YOU..."

Billy's father coughed. He spit a morsel of murky yellow phlegm onto the floor. "Out," he breathed angrily, pointing to the door. "Get out of this house. You're no longer my son."

Billy burst into tears. His father stomped out of the room.

Five minutes later Billy left the house, still sobbing, with a small backpack slung over his shoulder and a plushie toy clutched in his white, trembling hand.

To be continued...

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 3 of 7

2006-08-15T19:58:00.000+08:00

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 3 of 7 (in which a the word passionfruit first appears.)

Disclaimer: Belong to me, this story does not. Hear it somewhere, I did.

Billy's eyes were fixed upon the fly buzzing around his head. Ever so slowly, he brought up his Electrodeath electric fly-swatter and positioned it just so... and swung wildly.

He missed.

The fly-swatter hit the coat-rack, which toppled and landed on the bed, which wobbled, causing the basketball to bounce upwards, allowing it to be caught in the ceiling fan, which nearly malfunctioned, nonetheless resulting in the basketball being eviscerated, causing basketball shreds to fly everywhere, knocking over the table lamp, the plushie toy, and the alarm clock. The alarm clock fell to the ground and a battery rolled out, squashing a nearby caterpillar which would later be the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe. Thus humankind never discovered the true meaning of life. But that is another story.

Eureka! Billy suddenly thought. I know! I'll draw a passionfruit!

Billy was energized by his new idea. He raced down to the fridge and searched its deepest, darkest recesses and finally found what he was looking for - a shiny round passionfruit. He hugged it close to his chest. Billy grabbed a few crayons and a piece of paper and started drawing.

And drawing.

Billy drew the passionfruit for the whole night. And when he went to bed he had dreams of shiny bathtubs flying through space, with singing passionfruits scrubbing themselves inside them and an orange caterpillar bounding across the moon.

The next morning, Billy was in school bright and early. He smiled widely around the classroom until he realized it was empty. So he smiled at the whiteboard, and the tarantula, and the colourful posters.

Ten minutes later, Billy folded his hands and continued smiling.

Class started another half-hour later. By this time the other children had filed in. They quietly seated themselves at the front, although those nearest to Billy looked tense and apprehensive, and those farther away looked relieved. Billy thought this was strange.

"Alright, class!" said the teacher jovially. "Who wants to show me their homework assignment from yesterday?"

"Oooh! Me! Me!" yelled Billy immediately, waving his hand in the air.

"Okay, Billy," said the teacher, shooting him a disturbed glance. "What have you drawn?"

Billy produced his work with a proud flourish.

"Oh, very nice, Billy," said the teacher pleasantly. "But... what is it?"

"It's a passionfruit, ma'am," Billy said. He flourished his drawing again for good measure.

The students froze. The teacher froze. "Wh-wh-what did you say it was?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"A passionfruit, ma'am," Billy said again. He beamed proudly.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the teacher's face turned red and blotchy with anger. "Passionfruit?" she said. "PASSIONFRUIT? HOW DARE YOU SAY PASSIONFRUIT?" she shrieked.

She took a deep breath to calm herself down. "Go immediately to the principal's office," she said. She ushered Billy outside the classroom and hastily slammed the door.

Billy was bewildered. He didn't know what he had done wrong. So he trotted merrily along the hallway until he realized that he didn't know where the principal's office was.

Billy scratched his head. He scratched his chin. He also scratched the back of his neck because it was itchy. He then decided that he would just have to find the principal's office.

Billy wandered and wandered and wandered, until finally he came upon a smooth brown-black wooden door that looked different to all the other doors. "Prin-ci-puls of-ice," he read from the gold-embossed letters at the top. "Yep! This must be it!" he said happily. He pushed open the door.

The principal was a large, balding man with three double-chins, coarse hairy hands and a big (but friendly) red face. At this moment he was working on solving a difficult logistical problem on his computer. But he turned towards the door immediately when it opened.

"Ah!" he said genially, eyeing his diminutive visitor. "A student! What may I do for you, my lad?"

Billy was happy to see that the principal was so friendly. "Well sir," he said, "I was in class, see, and-"

"Wait!" the principal interrupted. "Your name is Billy, am I right?"

Billy was surprised. "Why, yessir, it is," he said. He beamed at the friendly principal.

"I met your mother just yesterday! What a coincidence!" the principal chortled.

"Haha, yes, a cons-dense!" Billy said happily.

The principal laughed. Billy laughed. A bird chirped gaily outside.

"Anyway, back to business," the principal said, suddenly serious. "What were you trying to say?"

"Oh, right, yessir," Billy said, remembering his manners. "I was in class and I showed the teacher my drawing of a passionfruit and for some reas-"

The principal cut Billy off. His three double chins convulsed in shock. His large red face turned purple. "D-d-did you just say" - his voice dropped to a whisper - "passionfruit?"

Billy nodded vigorously.

The principal gasped. "Passionfruit?" he cried. "PASSIONFRUIT? HOW DARE YOU SAY PASSIONFRUIT? That's it! I'm expelling you, you insolent little brat!" The principal lifted his bulky form from his chair, opened the window and single-handedly threw Billy out.

"And never come back!" he yelled, slamming the window shut. Angry spittles of saliva rained all over Billy.

The principal took a deep breath to calm himself down. When he was sufficiently relaxed, he returned to his game of Solitaire.

To be continued...

A song composed by MR X.

2006-08-14T23:07:00.000+08:00

A Song Composed by Mr X

Who is this Mr X??????

i'll get u a drink if u can guess it. 1 try. 1 answer. 1 winner. 1 ribena cup. thats if u know who i am btw.

2006-08-14T18:31:00.000+08:00

A Photo Update...

Elden having fun with Wing Hing.

No prizes for guessing who's that snoozing away...

Don't we just love the Astroturf?

Khairul having trouble with his knots.

The Vegetables. Inseparable.

Federer Express.

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 2 of 7

2006-08-14T17:50:00.000+08:00

Billy and the Passionfruit, part 2 0f 7

Disclaimer: I maintain that I do not own this story, however much I would like to.

Billy skipped down the pavement, a smile affixed on his face as he hummed to himself. What a great day at school! he thought. He broadened his smile and widened his stride.

What a great day at school! he thought again. He flailed his arms about in gladness. The children walking home with him shuffled away nervously.

Eventually Billy turned down the street to his house, waving goodbye to the other children, who smiled uncomfortably back. He scampered along the pavement, pushed open the gate, rushed down the pathway and burst through the door, colliding with his mother who had come to greet him when she had seen him outside.

"Hi mom," he gasped quickly, and promptly raced up the stairs. His mother blinked. She closed the door delicately and went back to chopping broccoli.

Vegetables, Billy's mother reflected, are much easier to understand than little boys.

Meanwhile, Billy had raced back down the stairs and was rummaging through the pantry. This kind of activity tends to make a lot of noise, so Billy's mother was drawn to the racket. She looked at the mess and sighed.

"What are you doing, Billy?" she said.

"I'm looking for a fruit," he said.

Billy's mother raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" she said. "Why is that?" Inwardly she was ballooning with excitement. Goodness, she thought, my lil' boy is growing up and taking the initiative! Asking for fruit, I'll say!

"It's an assignment for school," Billy said. "I have to draw a fruit."

Billy's mother didn't respond. She was enraptured, her hands clasped together in front of her starry, vacant eyes.

"Uh, mom?" said Billy. "You ok?" He went and fetched a stool to stand on, and then climbed on it and snapped his fingers in front of his mother's face.

"Wha?" said Billy's mother, looking wildly around. "Oh... oh. Yes dear, I'm fine." She smiled. "So which fruit would you like to eat?"

Billy blanched. "Jeez, mom!" he said. "I'm not gonna eat a fruit! Eeeew! I just need to draw it for school!"

Billy's mother deflated. "Oh," she said weakly. "Right, of course."

"So?" Billy said. He crossed his arms and tapped his right foot impatiently.

Billy's mother recovered quickly. "How about an apple?" she said.

"We did one in class today," Billy said. "I want something special."

"An orange?" Billy's mother said.

"Not original enough," Billy said.

"A banana?" she said.

"Not colourful enough," Billy said.

"A grape?"

"Not big enough."

"A bunch of grapes?"

"Too complicated."

"A grapefruit?"

"Too big."

"A durian?"

"Too spiky."

"A kiwi fruit?"

"Too furry."

"A strawberry?"

"Too cute."

"A rambutan?"

"What the heck is that, mom?" Billy said exasperatedly. "Forget it. You're not helping." He stormed up to his room to sulk.

Billy's mother quirked an eyebrow. He'll learn, she decided. She patted her bundle of ever-silent broccoli lovingly, and then chopped off its head.

To be continued...

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 1 of 7.

2006-08-12T12:54:00.000+08:00

As it is only a select few thus far have heard it - so may I present "Billy and the Passionfruit."

Disclaimer: I don't own this story. I heard it somewhere.

Once upon a time there lived a young boy named Billy. Billy was five years old. He had blond hair, brown eyes and a cheery disposition.

Today was Billy's first day of school. Because of this, Billy was very excited. "It's my first day of school!" he cried, as he skipped along the pavement holding his mother's hand. "I'm so excited!"

Billy's mother smiled down at her son. "Now, now, Billy," she said, "calm down. We're almost there."

Billy continued to frolic in joy and delight. The brightness of his smile blinded a nearby mosquito, which fell to the ground in shock and was squashed by Billy's foot. But Billy was too excited to notice.

"It's my first day of school!" he repeated joyfully.

"Indeed it is," Billy's mother proudly said. She quickened her pace to match her son's.

When they finally arrived at school, Billy rushed to his first class with great alacrity, leaving his mother waving wistfully behind. He sat down at the front of the classroom and waited.

And waited.

After five minutes the whole class had arrived. Most were sitting trembling at the back. "Come on up here, children!" said the teacher in a friendly voice. "I won't bite, you know!"

So the children (apart from Billy, of course) moved cautiously to the front. Billy beamed at them. They stared uncertainly back.

"Today we'll be doing a little bit of art," said the teacher cheerfully. "I want you to use these crayons" - she pointed to some crayons - "to draw this apple." She pointed to an apple. "Doesn't that sound like fun?"

There was a pregnant pause. The children shuffled their feet.

"Yeah! That sounds great!" said Billy happily. He grabbed some crayons and started drawing. The other children stared.

A large bead of sweat formed on the teacher's head. She had never encountered a class quite like this one. "Come on, children," said the teacher in an encouraging tone. "Look at" - she checked her roster - "Billy here. See how fun it is for him?"

Billy beamed again. The other children nodded slowly.

The teacher sighed. It was going to be a long day.

To be continued...

-The Editor

hahahahaha

2006-08-12T02:03:00.000+08:00

Wow!! planetshakers was goood!!!! hahahahaha

there's still another one tomorrow! if u didnt go yet,
GO!!!

Schni, Schna, Schnappi

2006-08-11T21:45:00.000+08:00

And it is taking Singapore by waves..presenting the Crocodile Song, a.k.a Das Kleine Krokodil!

To avoid repetition, the “Schni Schna Schnappi” seems to be just nonsense, sort of like saying “Snip, snap, Snappi”.

Ich bin Schnappi, das kleine Krokodil.
I am Schnappi, the little crocodile

Komm aus Ägypten, das liegt direkt am Nil.
I come from Egypt, directly at the Nile

Zuerst lag ich in einem Ei,
At first I laid inside an egg

dann schni-,schna-,schnappte ich mich frei
Then schni-schna- I snatched myself free

[Refrain]

Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp
Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp

Ich bin Schnappi, das kleine Krokodil
I am Schnappi, the little crocodile

hab scharfe Zähne, und davon ganz schön viel
I have sharp teeth, and they are very pretty

Ich schnapp mir was ich schnappen kann
I’ll snatch at you when I whenever I can snatch

ja ich schnapp zu, weil ich das so gut kann
Yes I snatch because I am so good at it

[Refrain]

Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp
Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp

Ich bin Schnappi, das kleine Krokodil
I am Schnappi, the little crocodile

ich schnappe gern, das ist mein Lieblingsspiel
I snatch happily, it’s my favorite game

Ich schleich mich an die Mama ran
I creep up to Mama and she runs

und zeig ihr wie ich schnappen kann
And shows how well I can snatch

[Refrain]

Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp
Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp

Ich bin Schnappi, das kleine Krokodil
I am Schnappi, the little crocodile

und vom Schnappen, da krieg ich nicht zu viel
And I cannot snatch too much at once

Ich beiß dem Papi kurz ins Bein
I bite Papa quickly on his leg

und dann, dann schlaf ich einfach ein
And then, then I simply go to sleep

-The Editor.

;p

2006-08-10T12:13:00.000+08:00

Haha. to u all, i'm looking forward to MALAYSIA's national day. ;p
hahaha. very soon too!! :)

Singapore's theme song this yr is also super nice hahaha.

have fun!!!

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

FUN!!!!

2006-08-09T22:17:00.000+08:00

WyJay speaks:

Hey everyone,

Happy National Day! (Kinda ironic coming from a Malaysian rite? Lol..)

anw, i watched NDP 06 just now. It was quite good. The colours were plentiful and fireworks were just awesome! I actually had a preview of the NDP fireworks last nite when i stood at the 3rd floor of esplanade. Yea, somehow fireworks always fascinated me. =)

Now for some wonderful memories from a foreigner's point of view...

Singapore has always been a wonderful place to be in, the clean environment, the GREAT schools, the wonderful friends, the thriving economy.Hope all these never change.

Strangely, I've spent more years in Singapore than in Malaysia. Hmm.. be a Singaporean? Probably not, i can never give up the best Malaysian foods! (I guess the Malaysians will know what they are)
PR sounds more like it.

So, hope all you guys out there have a great national day break and look out for Malaysia's Merdeka at the end of the month!

Signing off from the keyboard of WyJay

2006-08-09T21:37:00.000+08:00

by request of the editor, here's a post dedicated to the nation...

an ode to singapore, by john leo caines

small are you when it comes to size
but that has mattered none
you've grown in ways none would believe
as a nation, united as one

from forth your shores great people have emerged
in every imaginable sphere
osim, hyflux and sim wong hu
amidst many, just to name a few

its with such pride i feel when i hear them say
"hey, isn't he/she from that little red dot?"
though hard to locate on any given map
singapore's no doubt produced a good lot

on this your special 41st birthday
Ninth August, two thousand and six
i wish you all the very best
and can't way to see what you'll achieve next!

channeling my inner stefanie sun,
jlc.

Happy 41st Birthday Singapore!

2006-08-09T20:46:00.000+08:00

On a side note...

HAPPY 41st Birthday to Singapore!

My Island Home

This is my home
She's everything to me
Grace and beauty
In all that you see

My island home
Wherever I may be
I never will forget her
Nor will she forget me

Chorus ^
And I will sing
A song of home
A land of peace
Where dreams are born everyday
My home
Wherever I may be
I believe
You will always be a part of me ^

My island home
Home of my family
This is my future
Where I want to be
(This is my future
This is my home)

My home
Wherever I may be
I believe
You will always be a part of me
A part of me

ACS IB: Interesting point

2006-08-09T20:24:00.000+08:00

So anyway, here's something I heard from someone today, more food for thought:

For any new syllabus, the educators must be trained to the syllabus before they can train the students. Ya might be teaching the correct thing, but not at the correct depth, or width...too much?

-The Editor

Politics?

2006-08-07T22:32:00.000+08:00

Now for a semi-serious discussion...

Ever thought of the harmful effects of politics? How it could lead people to do undesirable things which a person never intended to do? True in some cases?
Cases in which people are so desperately defending themselves or crediting themselves and cases where different ones experience unhealthy results of another person's wicked actions.

Well, as according to the age old principle, you reap what you sow, and it is really scary when you think of these negatives things occuring to you. Maybe you wouldnt know until you actually experience it. Tis' the fate of some politicians in the world right now. Dont you find it pitiful and truly, the only one to blame is themselves?

Well, keep your conscience clear and your motives right, maybe life wouldnt be as bad as you think it is. Walls have eyes and ears, so be careful of what you say or even what you wish.

Remember: It is never too late if these politicians decide to turn over a new leaf! Draw strength from God, and as God forgives, mankind will do so likewise..

ACS(I) IB?

2006-08-07T20:15:00.000+08:00

Time to do something a bit more political...
Food for thought: Where is the true spirit of IB being manifested in ACS IB programme?
-Look at CCAs...can't a student learn a new sport or skill without having to bring it to competitive level? Whatever happened to learning at a leisurely, recreational pace? Shouldn't a place be made for people who want to do this, without having to be pressurized to compete?
-Subjects such as TOK should never require a textbook or book for lessons - healthy discussion should suffice, where we talk about issues which are relevant to us (not always problems with the youth of today), and everyone can learn to communicate and share their views on an equal playing field.
-CAS: so many students are finding their time limited by CCAs and studies, such that they would rather use these as 'excuses' for CAS hours, instead of voluntarily going out into the field to serve in the community, or do some of their own global exploration. Why not encourage expeditions overseas, for example climb a mountain, or hike in New Zealand? One cannot obtain a true global worldview simply by sitting in class in Singapore and studying the theory!

Feel free to post more!

The Editor.

ODDS AGAIN

2006-08-06T01:34:00.000+08:00

MISS ME???!!! OF COURSE YOU DO
alright alright hold the applause
here are the odds
yj tops class 3/2
choy tops class 2/1
daniel tops class 5/1
zixi tops class 8/1
others topping class 18/1
this blog not updated till end of the year 5/4
stuart slims down 100000/1
someone(anyone) confesses he is gay 4/1
someone new got himeself a gf 5/1
a year 5 girl steps into the class and look for someone 2/1
a huge ass scolding 3/2
elden un-hypering 9348823457892357/1

the zenith of 4.11

2006-08-06T01:27:00.000+08:00

hiya!!!! i wanna post tooo!!! ;p
its been 8mths into the yr already!! thats like real real fast!!!!
we onli have like 2-3mths in the same class left? T_T

well, as that title would imply, its gr8t to c our class bonding much better now.

only a short time left, sadly we can't all be in the same class again nxt yr.

i guess we should all treasure this time we have left! :)

i mean, we ARE THE BEST SEC 4 CLASS RITE?? :P

keep the blog alive!!! ;)

bye!!!

merv

A New Lease of Life

2006-08-05T16:32:00.000+08:00

Hey ya'll!
thought the blog needed some colour changes, so here's the new theme!
did it up yesterday at ronald's place after cross country... x)
do tag if you want any add-ons or whatever for the blog yeah?
and link yourself if you've got a blog...
(sean/guangyi/me can't be the only ones who have them rite?)

that's all from me,
jlc.

:::stephen '06.::: Hey Sexy MaMa :::

2006-05-04T21:39:00.000+08:00

:::stephen '06.::: Hey Sexy MaMa :::
testing

:::stephen '06.::: Hey Sexy MaMa :::

2006-05-04T21:15:00.000+08:00

:::stephen '06.::: Hey Sexy MaMa :::: "PM

Chiasmata; Okazaki fragments; Centromeres
Wooooo..... I can type here! wow!!
gonna figure out how i can add a picture... hmmm

time to STUDY.

2006-04-03T16:38:00.000+08:00

yes everyone, if you're reading this, then you're doing the WRONG thing! hee. common tests in 4-5 weeks...GO STUDY.

-darthpookie

-Into the dust (1954)

2006-04-01T20:14:00.000+08:00

Into the dust – (1954)

A diminished star,
Death of a beloved ; faded
Away I wither,
Death cometh upon my brow; Silence
Contemplates;
Silver leaves upon golden thrones; Death
Ponders
Wave woven skies,
Wind driven dreams,
With crooked finger she beckons me,
I labour.
Will you
Let me rest,
Amongst the rusted carpet grass; of
Stained Sun Weary Earth and
Ravaged seas. Trudging across,
Return to me, she
Calls,
Into the dust; I
Fall

Anonymous

lols, heeres the poem fomulated at the back of class during chinese lesson :/

signing off,
-+- my ribena

odds

2006-03-26T13:13:00.000+08:00

yo wassup stephenians. betting is illegal but well there's no harm in coming up with crazy odds, for purely entertainment purpose of course. again 411 stephen organisation does not condone any sort of betting in any form.

kevin choy topping class 2/1
YJ topping class 3/1
Daniel topping class 5/1
Zixi topping class 8/1
anyone else topping class 14/1
clarence getting a demerit

Editor's Note

2006-03-23T23:18:00.000+08:00

ALL READ THIS:
It has come to our attention that posters have not been signing off properly. We would once again like to remind users of the standard format:

TITLE (optional, capital letters)

Body

-"nickname" (without the "s)

Please adhere closely to this format. If your nickname is not listed in the left column yet, feel free to enter and edit the HTML. If you lack the necessary technical ability, simply email your request to 411stephen@gmail.com

-The Editor.

Yo wassup!!

2006-03-23T22:36:00.000+08:00

hey ya'll. bet it'll only take u guys 30sec to guess who i am.
Well, this class really rox my sox. its great to see how we can all get along even wif the many different characters we have. u guys made my name and acronym into terms. amazing...
like de "____" joke and the u are a "___""_" hahaha.
this class rox and if we were together next year it wld be super great. remember, we're 4.11Stephen 06. and thus, we rock!
only 8 more months in this class n i think we're all gonna miss it.

to the BB guys in the class, BB rox and so do u.
to the other 2 scouts, wat can i say, tying knots is great if thats the definition of scouts. and u 2 are really super funny and i love our mini class picnics!
the band guys, blow hard and blow well, cos u guys stand out from the rest and thats y u really rock this class and remember there's always food in the scout corner (for reference purposes).
to ze choir guys, sing well and always be the unique and special ones in this class.
to the guy wif the most muscles, ur COOL!!
to the 5 cool PRCs, its great to be in de same class as ya.
the 3 indos, laugh laugh laugh and smilesmilesmile WASSUP U GUYS!
the tennis guys, swing hard and SMASH the BALLS.
mr cool badminton, it been great being in de same class as ya, train hard!
de debators, how can i miss u guys out, stay awake in class ya!! hehe, and stay coool!
to sneaky, Phanster, darth vader, porn director, jiajun, most retarded guy, alien, haha u guys contribute alot to the variety in this class. bunch of weird yet COol ppl!

REMEMBER 4.11 STEPHEN '06 is will always now and forever ROCK!! lets get through this great yr well.
thats bout it for 2day haha. c yaz!! :)

-MOK'M

nothin but nonsense pt 1

2006-03-23T21:40:00.000+08:00

yo peeps guess whos this blogging now (you will find out sooner or later, go tag the answer if you find out i treat you one drink. only for the first correct answer, except for ronald)
yea i got nothin better to say but 411 stephen is the best class ever, now for all you outsiders these are behind the scenes recount of most of the shitheads, humbugs, losers, perverts, good-for-nothing, wretches. haha kidding. might be offensive, but WHO CARES HAHAHA
ok first of all the chairman, ronald lai aka darth pookie. Genius shit, he's actually a year younger than us. Rather quiet, seems like a nerd, but he isn't one, trust me on that. Then V-chair, cheesy, dude's got a pentium 837189317831 up there. Freaking smart scholar, ownage at every single subject, yo he's mugger, but again not a nerd, trust me again on that. they say secretaries are nothing more than hot chics who;s programmed to pick up phone calls and do some stuff with the boss whenever he calls for it. oh well not these 2 haha. dongliang and yu yue. these china dudes are 2 helluva bright sparks. dongliang is helluva nice guy and yu yue is probably most playful china scholar, hahah dota man. haha he's super funny, not that you will laugh with him but well, the other kind of funny "shard up( shut up)" or "o mai gok (oh my god)" and neva wa-ke him up-e or he will murda your ass. but well he's all cool. pe rep, patrick, hes the pimp. yea 17 girls during drama night, beat that !!!! pro tennis man. let sort the rest according to their cliques
Chan & Phan (nigel and wes)
Chan & Phan love consultancy will provide their expertise( or is it sexpertise) and experience in the field of love. A track record 100% customer satisfaction. Trust Chan & Phan consultancy with all your problems concerning love and you will be in safe hands. Chan & Phan - cupid is going jobless.
Choir gang ( stuart, justin, and sometimes daniel)
uhmm i shall keep the comments to myself, well maybe except daniel, whom i will talk abt later. these ppl(except dan) are happy, nuff said
THE DARK REVOLUTION (black, porn director, veggie)
these musicians are off the chain, well havent really checked em out but bet they are good. Black or khairul is the a cool guy, nicest rugger ever, oh he's uhhh*thinks really hard 4, no no, 7, no no 8? maybe? aghh X-timer, numbers range from to 10 to infinite. ladies man, but can be super horny, yea really horny. LCY, the porn director, soccer ownage, the next oliver khan. super cool man, he got a transition lens, lookin smokin, off the hizzay with the ol' gangsta look. well he seems like a quiet guy, but man hes a porn director, world class, certified. veggie, super hyper, will whack you for nothin, had a crush on uhmm a certain a2. but yea nice and cool guy, fun to hang out with. oh uhmm if your marks flopped, you can look for him for comfort, you know what i mean.
pitcher planters (spongebob, muscles, chichuen)
shit they are obsessed abt pitcher plants!!!but yea these 3 geniuses could actually make loads of $ and get recognition out of it. hmm chichuen is not your typical class genius, yea he got 85% and all but uhh he is neither a mugger nor a nerd, quite punk actually. yea cool dude. weng ngai is like super muscular, sick-ass ownage body, but nah he wont hurt a fly. spongebob- 2words childish and retarded- nuff said.
BRAINS (chichuen, YJ, pook, daniel, cheesy)
damn man these people are crazy smart, bet their brains have enuff power to light up the whole of sg. damn it, if anyone could break their dominance , they would have to nerdify. but man, they arent nerds , i mean there are nerds in the class, but not one of them is in this catergory. science quiz team, nsw champs, know-it-alls, they are hell smart and once again i insist they are NOT nerds. muggers doesnt equate to nerds. aside from those mentioned, YJ and daniel are all cool. well daniel is a nice person, can be abit uhmm horny. helps you out with school stuff, not only in the sense of copying but discussions as well. well-spoken and sometimes abit short-tempered over debates academic in nature. YJ is uhmm abit, teeny weeny bit happy. but he's cool and fun to hang out with.
yo and thats less than half of the class. im like doing the stupid c math hw now so
to be continued...
(more to come, including the biggest retard in the class, probably in the whole level)

-Room Temperature.

Welcome

2006-03-22T20:51:00.000+08:00

welcome to 411bouncers.

'stephen-ians', heed the calling to bounce! this is the page for your random rants about school, the government, scandalous things, and everything else in general.

please blog here once in a while to tell us you're still alive :). even if you're on the other side of the world.

-Darth Pookie.